Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables.
Dealing with the same old problems over and over and over. This thorn-in-the-flesh disease… treatable, but not curable. The real dig: it is just so annoying to find myself back here.
Part of me longs for new problems, if struggles there must be. Perhaps I’ll give my brother in law’s nicotine addiction a test drive? I have a friend who shoplifts, that sounds like a more exotic pathology. In my head, I know that this is ridiculous. But like they say, “the marijuana’s always greener on the other side.”
Yes there are times when I manage to claw and scramble and heft myself out of the rut. I find firm footing. I make more good choices than bad. And I start to feel pretty good about myself.
But then that day comes when the girls are squabbling, and the dishwasher is leaking, and the littles have some alarming gastrointestinal issue making diaper changes both frequent and deadly, and Glen and I have become ships who pass in the night (literally, since I take the 12-3am shift with crying babies and he takes 3-6am). And I find myself slipping back. Sigh.
Here we go.
So here’s me, a recovering complainer/pen-chewer/overeater/nail-biter/gossip/perfectionist/isomniac.
I don’t really want to smoke anything or steal anything (I promise Mom), just tired of fighting the same battles again and again. But in a way, these familiar ruts are as much a part of me as my strengths and talents.
This was for Lisa-Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday writing challenge.
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. That is like the one rule we all really care about. For reals.