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Relying on the Kindness of Strangers

Blanche Dubois, a character in the play A Streetcar Named Desire, is NOT my ideal woman. I’ve always thought she was pretty much an idiot. As she is led off to a mental institution, bewildered and weak, she spouts her famous line “I’ve always depended on the kindness of strangers”.

Apparently, she’s not the only one.

This afternoon I made a crucial error. I bumped the car door as I got out to fill it up with gas. Which apparently locked it. With the my keys inside. And my bag. And my phone. And my sanity!!!!

I was on my way to pick up my kids from school. Glen was unreachable. I felt the panic rising… What am I going to do? Who am I going to call? Why does my Dad have to live so far away?

The gas station attendant barely spoke english. Poor guy couldn’t understand what this crazy lady was babbling about. Each time I tried to explain the situation, he would ask if I wanted a receipt with that.

Using the international language of charades I managed to communicate my need for a phone and called the school to let the administration know that: I was a loser, and deadbeat parent, and had NO idea how or when I could get to the school to pick my kids up, and p.s. I’m kind of freaking out.

The school secretary was calm and understanding. She assured me everything would be fine; they would sort things out.

Thank you Mrs. L for being a friendly voice when I needed it most!

A young couple overheard my frantic call and witnessed my rather undignified mime to the clerk. They offered to help.

My new friend Nick rummaged through his van full of tools with a capable air. In one of my most unfeminist moments, ever, I let out a sigh of relief that a man had come to save me. Though, to be honest, a handywoman would have been every bit as welcome as a handyman.

When nothing seemed to work, they drove me home to fetch a wire coat hanger and waited while I pounded on the door and yelled “It’s MOM!”, trying to convince my at-home-sick eldest that just this one time she should come open the door. Back at the station, we spent another 1/2 an hour trying every trick in the book to jimmy the lock. I had never met these two before and maybe I never will again, but for that 1 hour, they were my best friends.

Thank you, thank you, thank you Nick and Megan!

Trying to break into a distraught lady’s car works like catnip for the macho-protector type. Guy in the blue hoodie, chef from the nearby Sushi restaurant, grey haired man in a sedan… they flocked to me, eager to weigh in on the process. Some tried their hand at my fishing-for-the-lock-with-a-coat-hanger game. It reminded me of that claw arcade game or something from a carnival. Step right up, for the ultimate test of skill and manliness! Sadly, much like the fair, no one can actually win this game.

Thank you random strangers for trying, anyway!

 Meanwhile, in the gas station, shift change (thank goodness). As I approached the woman my slow, deliberate speech probably seemed somewhat obnoxious and faintly racist. Especially considering her english was every bit as good as mine; probably better, since at this point I was pretty flustered. She didn’t blink as I made something like 27 calls on their phone – to the school, to my daughter, to the only friend’s number I could remember…

What? I don’t need to remember that kind of stuff. I have an iPhone, SO that I can have immediate access to every number I’ve ever called, tweet about the situation in real-time and keep Facebook posted on every boring detail. You know, for the times when I don’t lock the stupid thing IN THE CAR!

Thank you gas station lady for letting me tie up your phone lines!

Not only did the SEAs and teachers supervise my children during this time, they managed to unearth an old booster seat and drive them home. What’s more, we now have a poster coloured during this after school session which can commemorate this special time forever.

Thank you already overworked, underpaid teaching staff for going above and beyond the call of duty!

Despite the seemingly unending line of car-thieves-in-training, I decided to call BCAA. But apparently the membership is under my husband’s name. And he has to be there. With the card. And I can’t reach him.

Unfeminist moment #2, as I tell my sad story, beg for help… and cry. Like a pathetic, helpless girl who really wants her husband to rescue her. Or her Dad. Or MacGyver, ’cause I’m sure he could get me out of this with a toothpick and a piece of lint.

Anyway, the crying thing… totally works.

 Thank you soft-hearted man at the other end of the phone!

As I waited for the locksmith, it occurred to me, I didn’t have my wallet with me. Instead, it was by the front door. In my other purse. At home. Another fine move, on an already stellar day.

I was told I would need to provide ID, proving I was at least the WIFE of an account holder. Now, in a rational moment I would have thought: oh well, what are they going to do to me if they open the car and I don’t have the ID right there? Lock it all back up again? Sue me? Raise their eyebrows? Speak to me sternly?

All terrifying prospects, so I started calling my one phone friend, again (btw, sorry for all the messages/hang ups on your answering machine, you shouldn’t have such a memorable phone number if you want privacy and stuff). She was able to swing by my house and bring me my wallet.

Thank you G, for bailing me out! As usual! Please don’t ever, ever, ever change your number.

Now we get to the really EXCITING part of the story. The locksmith came and I recognized him. I played it cool, because he was obviously working hard to be incognito. He popped open that door in 20 seconds flat. He assured me it happens to everyone, which is what we call a “kind lie” in our house. He asked if my kids were okay. He told me not to worry.

He was slightly more svelte than I expected and he had shaved off his beard. But I recognized him: the white hair, the moustache, the rosy cheeks, the slightly German accent, the fatherly glow, the jolly… I’m sure it was him.

Thank you Santa-in-coveralls, for saving me. And my phone. And my sanity!

It’s easy to be cynical these days. In a world of Amber alerts, sex offenders and identity theft, strangers usually seem like a threat. We’ve had our credit card info stolen 3 times in the past few years. Our car has been broken into even more often than that. We’ve called the cops twice since we moved to this town; once because a man was being beaten senseless in our driveway. There are a lot of creeps out there.

But, if nothing else, today proved that there are a lot of good people in the world too!

So here’s me, not my finest moments… but I’m happy to know that the kindness of both friends and strangers is pretty reliable when I need it most.

When have you had to rely on strangers?

Also, any stories about locking yourself out? 

That helps me feel less stupid, or at least less lonely in my stupidity…


Friday Favourites 7: till death do us part

This week I told my love story. That’s right – cue the “awwww”! Suffice it to say, it’s been a nostalgic love fest in our house all week. And it’s not my fault.

You may not know this to look at my husband, but beneath his scruffy, cynical concert t-shirt beats the heart of a real SAP. He is definitely the romantic in our relationship. I must confess, I would never have remembered our first date-iversary, but he’s not one to let these special days pass.

In high school I was the grateful recipient of not one, but a dozen “I love you” mix tapes.

Tapes are like CD’s, only they fit in a ghetto blaster…um… cassette player…it’s like a…walkman… never mind kids. It’s what we called “playlists” in the olden days.

Our song du jour is a tune I’ve always loved, but hadn’t really notice the words until Glen told me the last part reminded him of me. Eat your heart out Bryan Adams, there’s a new “our song” in town!

Quote

Then the letters all flash through my head,

with the words that I was told about the fading flesh of life and love, the failures of the bold.

I can list each crippling fear like I’m reading from a will.

And I’ll defy every one and love you still.

I will carry you with me up every hill.

The Airborne Toxic Event – from The Graveyard Near The House

Song

Not everyone will find this song about decomposing corpses romantic, but we sure do!

Blog

Speaking of death, one of my favourite bloggers is a funeral director. That’s not just a clever segue. Caleb Wilde offers a glimpse into the bizarre world of modern mourning. Nothing like unusual casket options and wacky eulogies, or Slogans for Death’s New PR Campaign to brighten my day. But most importantly, he provides an insight about life that only someone who walks with the bereaved every day can offer. Challenging and uplifting, because often life is seen most clearly in the light of death.

iPhone/iPad App

Speaking of grabbing life and sucking the marrow out of it… ya, this clever segue is not going to work. How about: in this life we all have to learn our times tables, might as well have fun doing it!

For the first time in C’s life she is not kicking arithmetic butt. No matter how thoroughly she understands multiplication, she has not memorized and deeply ingrained the times tables on her soul. Until now… we have tried a number of apps, songs, videos and good old fashioned drills, but Math Bingo is our favourite!

After playing each round you earn a “math bug” which you can use to play another game. It looks like the love child of Angry Birds and Pong to me. And the price is right at only $0.99!

Free Stuff

Personally, I don’t like audio books. Give me written word or give me nothing (or, you know, television). But my kids love it!

They still listen to Adventures in Odyssey each night. They LOVED the Narnia audio books, so I was pretty stoked to hear about Free Audio Books at booksshouldbefree.com. They have every classic I could think of, including some of my favourites: Jane Austen, Montgomery, Alcott… We are starting with Little Women and Pinocchio.

You can stream them from the website or download as a podcast. If you go through Amazon audible, it’ll cost you in the end, so be careful. Thanks for the tip Janis – everyone needs a home school mom in their pocket.

Instructional Video

Cute and funny – my kids even laughed. Okay, made a chuckling sound, maybe just a smirk, but I’ll take it! It’s a Book for anyone born in the last 10 years, and a reminder for the rest of us.

Is it ironic that I watched this on my iPhone? I’d like to buy this Lane Smith book in print. I hear people can still do that.

Book

If you are like me and need a real book in hand (or at least on the kindle) try Mennonite in the Little Black Dress. If you grew up Mennonite, or brethren (like me), or any old school church that spent a lot of time trying to be “in the world, but not OF it” you will LOVE this book. My sisters and I howled over it on our road trip. We sang all the old bible camp songs at the top of our lungs until Glen was ready to chuck us out of the car on our “sitter-downers”.

Don’t expect a devotional or some Janet Oke-ish love story, but it’s an interesting peek into both this strange little subculture and the cold world of academia.

So here’s me, with mine hand on mine self and vat is das here, das is mine tinker-boxer mine Mama dear. Tinker-boxer, tinker-boxer, ja, ja, ja, ja. Dat’s vat ve learn in der school. Ja Ja!


Friday Favourites 5

Learning to Shut Up, High Tech Family Time and British Melodrama

This week I’ve gone back to school for the first time in 17 years. I was a bit of a keener back in the day, but it’s a whole new ball game now. I like to sit at the front with my friend Beth, and I try – I really, really try – to bite my tongue and play it cool.

But we’re talking about childbirth and parenting styles in Developmental Psychology. We’re discussing the school system and learning disabilities in Life Writing. It’s fascinating. It’s controversial. It’s Totally My Area of Expertise.

Today the prof was talking about stereotyping, something we tend to do upon first impression.

“For example,” she says,

“I usually peg students in that first week: the quiet one, the shy one, and

(turning to look right. at. me.)

the one who does all the talking.”

My New Motto:

“‘Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

Blog:

Although we may differ in opinion about the inherent creepiness of snakes, Becoming Cliche is one of my favourite blogs. I’m sure Heather has deep, deep, important thoughts… but the rest she puts online to make me laugh. On a bad day, she makes me smirk; on a good day, I’m reaching for the Depends. You can also find very important information there; for instance, the Comprehensive Guide to Passive Aggression.

iPhone/iPad App:

This Christmas, we spent a lot of time passing iPads and iPods around the room. After a few days of her wondering what on earth was going on, we managed to get Great Grandma in on it. Board games have been born again!

No more lost pieces, no more dishonest bankers taking unauthorized “interest payments” (you know who you are), no more table-clearing brawls over who gets to be the top hat, and no more heated debated over the word Q-A-T (yes, that is a real word). Board game apps are the best thing since sliced bread – not absolutely necessary, but a whole lot less work! Our favourites are Scrabble, Monopoly and Risk.

Video:

Getting tired of weepy celebrities pimping sad, sad stories of the third world? Slide shows of dying children set to makes-me-want-to-slit-my-wrists soundtracks? There’s been a lot of talk lately about poverty tourism and condescending attitudes within charities. This video represents a new way of doing things. It brightened my day and made me excited about giving again – as a partner, not a patron. Plus, I love the tagline: Keep the Pity; Unlock the Potential.

Cheesy British Series:

For the past three years, BBC’s Robin Hood held this place in my heart. It petered out in the third season, but we had a good run. I was content.

THEN, my sister-in-law Erin introduced me to Downton Abbey. And now I see it everywhere I turn around. This Jane Austen-style soap opera is strangely addictive. Honestly, I have important things to do like housework, studying, talking to my husband, maybe even sleeping. But instead I’m glued to the screen desperate to find out if Lord Grantham can break the entail or if that weasel of a footman is promoted to valet. All that Regency-era historical fiction I read in my teenage years is FINALLY paying off. I knew it would some day!

Book:

Things are busy and I’m feeling overwhelmed. As much as I’ve been enjoying “A Life-Span Perspective on Human Development” (and who wouldn’t) there may come a time when I have a spare moment… I live in hope. When that moment comes, I will spend it with a familiar old friend – Valancy Stirling. Literary comfort food for hectic times in the form of The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery.

Valancy is unloved and unwanted, a spinster by age 29 (we’ll call that the bad old days), who gets some alarming news and decides to reinvent herself. You can’t help but love her and hate pretty much everyone around her. I have read this book at least once a year since puberty, and you should too.

So here’s me, playing my new game: WWDCD? What would the Dowager Countess Do? It involves a lot of sniffing disdainfully and saying things like, “We can’t have him assassinated… I suppose.”


One Word 2012

I am joining the One Word project today. Setting aside years of angst and agony over New Year’s Resolutions. I was very excited to pick one simple word to represent the year to come. I even let the God of the Universe in on the ground floor.

Unfortunately, we didn’t see eye to eye on the whole thing. Each time I prayed about it, each time I turned it over in my mind, each time I discussed it with my husband, the same word kept coming up. And it isn’t the one I wanted. At all.

It smells of patchouli and bean sprouts.

It sounds like New Age chimes and breathy infomercial announcers.

It tastes overly sweet and just all wrong.

It isn’t “me” at all.

But maybe that’s the point. I’m much more comfortable with goals I can see and touch and boss around. The idea of building my year around a word like this is disconcerting.

What does it mean? Where will it take me? How will I get there? It doesn’t involve strategies or schedules or measurable goals or anything concrete. But it is growing on me.

Instead of the usual grind of guilt vs. accomplishment, this year:

I will listen when I pray.

I will engage my imagination.

I will create margins in my life to think, to ponder, to breathe.

I will be honest and brave about who I am and who I want to be.

I will wrestle with reality, with my grief and disappointments to make room for new possibilities.

I will dream.

So here’s my one word for 2012: DREAM.

What is your One Word this year?