Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables.
~Spanish Proverb
It’s wearisome.
Dealing with the same old problems over and over and over. This thorn-in-the-flesh disease… treatable, but not curable. The real dig: it is just so annoying to find myself back here.
Part of me longs for new problems, if struggles there must be. Perhaps I’ll give my brother in law’s nicotine addiction a test drive? I have a friend who shoplifts, that sounds like a more exotic pathology. In my head, I know that this is ridiculous. But like they say, “the marijuana’s always greener on the other side.”
Yes there are times when I manage to claw and scramble and heft myself out of the rut. I find firm footing. I make more good choices than bad. And I start to feel pretty good about myself.
But then that day comes when the girls are squabbling, and the dishwasher is leaking, and the littles have some alarming gastrointestinal issue making diaper changes both frequent and deadly, and Glen and I have become ships who pass in the night (literally, since I take the 12-3am shift with crying babies and he takes 3-6am). And I find myself slipping back. Sigh.
Here we go.
Again.
STOP
So here’s me, a recovering complainer/pen-chewer/overeater/nail-biter/gossip/perfectionist/isomniac.
I don’t really want to smoke anything or steal anything (I promise Mom), just tired of fighting the same battles again and again. But in a way, these familiar ruts are as much a part of me as my strengths and talents.
This was for Lisa-Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday writing challenge.
Here’s the rules:
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. That is like the one rule we all really care about. For reals.
So Here's Us... 
January 25th, 2013 at 1:58 pm
Oh, I so know that dance and I get just as frustrated with myself over it! I love the idea of struggling with a new problem, too. Gave me a great giggle. (visiting from Lisa-Jo)
January 25th, 2013 at 3:59 pm
Yes! I enjoyed your post today too. I’ve got a rendition of that same song stuck in my head too! Not enough. Not enough. Not enough. Stupid song.
Glad to know I’m not the only one with a twisted sense of humor. I’m just waiting for the message from a family member concerned that I’m actually flirting with pot or thievery. It’s just that other people’s problems seem like a more glamorous alternative to my overplayed “stay up too late and glut myself on candy and reality t.v.” habit.
January 25th, 2013 at 1:59 pm
I had to laugh out loud on this one “diaper changes both frequent and deadly”. Been there! Good thing is that the bad days come and go and they don’t last forever.
January 25th, 2013 at 4:02 pm
Amen to that! It only seems like forever at the time. We’re actually doing better this week, so I can joke and laugh about it now.
January 25th, 2013 at 2:02 pm
Ahhh yes……..that circle of life we all do…….I hear ya! Hopefully your babies get over their bug really quickly and you get some decent sleep too!
January 25th, 2013 at 4:03 pm
Circle of life is a good way to look at it! Happily we’re at the very tail end of this stomach bug. And last night I slept until 4 am before one of them got up (that’s much better). Hope is in sight. Here’s hoping we sleep the ENTIRE night through tonight.
January 25th, 2013 at 3:11 pm
I hear you and can relate. I can tell it’s bad when new problems look better than the ones you already have! Ha! But at least there is Hope. Sometimes He allows what feels like the same old – same old because He is trying to show us something. I don’t know your situation, but it sounds challenging! God bless! Thanks for your honest thoughts!
Christy @ A Heartening Life
http://www.ahearteninglife.com
January 25th, 2013 at 4:20 pm
Thanks for your encouragement. I think we all have certain struggles which defy the quick-fix. God doesn’t deliver us from evil all at once. Not to worry, I’m not actually longing for any new problems. 😉 While overeating and staying up too late and feeling sorry for myeself aren’t terrifying problems, they are my default… that annoying old nature.
January 26th, 2013 at 11:01 am
When I was struggling with too little income, my sister was struggling with health issues. It always made me thankful that my own struggle was manageable and there was an end in sight even if that wasn’t until the mortgage would be paid off. A good friend told me we needed to get our eyes off the problem and on to the Lord–much easier said than done. And believe it or not, some day we’ll forget about those long days and nights. My response when my Mom told me that, “you’ve got to be kidding. You actually don’t remember?” Keep up the good work.
January 28th, 2013 at 8:25 pm
Thanks Auntie Lois. I think that’s the biggest trouble. Focusing on my same old struggles makes it seem tiresome with no end in sight. Focusing on God, or pretty much anything else, and I’m not nearly so angst-y.