April 25, 2014

How to Make a Real Live Friend

By So Here's Us.... life on the raggedy edge.

It starts with my best face, my best chit chat, my best me. A brief warmth and pressure, hands touching, nothing more. Tentative, sanitized, easy.

Next, we test the waters. Lining up topics from lightest to heaviest. Basic information with hints of personality. I don’t always follow the rules, I overshare, I talk too much and listen too little. Did you really want to know about my day? Did I really want to know about yours?

If all goes well and life allows, we invest something. Some time. Some memory. Some effort. Venturing onto private property, dishes in the sink, lego on the floor… I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours.

Time is the final ingredient. The yeast in the dough. Settling in, getting messy, sticking it out for the hard stuff. I’ll show you me, if you let me see you.

It’s not like it used to be. When “wanna be my friend?” wasn’t quite so complicated. When clicking “confirm” didn’t mean anything.

So here’s me, where making friends at 38 is different for a whole lot of reasons, but definitely worth the effort.

Today I’m joining Lisa Jo Baker‘s
Five Minute Friday writing challenge on the word:
Friend

About So Here's Us.... life on the raggedy edge.

I'm a bookworm, nature lover, kick-boxer, candy fiend, sci fi geek, home body, progressive Christian and part-time student. I love my crazy life and the messy, fun, stubborn, silly, brilliant people who populate it. View all posts by So Here's Us.... life on the raggedy edge.

This entry was posted on Friday, April 25th, 2014 at 1:55 pm and tagged with friends, getting to know people, grown up friendships, making new friends, social skills and posted in Five Minute Friday. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

7 responses to “How to Make a Real Live Friend”

richelle @ our wright-ing pad
April 25th, 2014 at 2:09 pm

fascinating look in surprising details at a process we all know too well… but still sometimes pretend doesn’t exist.

visiting from 5mf this friday! have a great weekend!

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- So Here's Us.... life on the raggedy edge.
  April 25th, 2014 at 9:07 pm
  
  I enjoyed your thorough exploration of the friend of God – lots to chew on.
  
  I think you’re right, most of the “making a grown up friend” etiquette is unexplored and unspoken.
  
  Reply
Lauren
April 25th, 2014 at 8:36 pm

Stopping by from FMF and your posts is beautifully written! Thank you for sharing your words!

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- So Here's Us.... life on the raggedy edge.
  April 25th, 2014 at 9:10 pm
  
  Thanks Lauren! I enjoyed the glimpse at your love story.
  
  Reply
Tammy Perlmutter
April 25th, 2014 at 9:01 pm

Loved this so much. You need to check out Melanie Dale’s website, she writes about “dating for moms,” about what it’s like to make friends when you’re older and especially a mom. http://Www.unexpectedmel.com

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- So Here's Us.... life on the raggedy edge.
  April 25th, 2014 at 9:17 pm
  
  Sounds right up my alley… we’re the new people at church so I’m doing the dance for the first time in a long time. Nerve wracking, but exciting and always rewarding to find new friends.
  
  I hate to admit I laughed a little as I read about your terrible-horrible-no-good day. I mean, what else could go wrong? I would have been a blubbering mess too. Thank God for good friends who come to the rescue!
  
  Reply
What I’m Into: April 2014 | So Here's Us...
May 6th, 2014 at 10:23 pm

[…] Call me an idealist. Most of the time I like a hero who is unswervingly good. Which is why Captain America is my favourite Avenger despite his terrible costume and cheesy patriotism (after all, I am Canadian). I wasn’t disappointed by Captain America: The Winter Soldier – definitely the best Marvel movie so far! […]

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