Have you ever wanted to crawl back into bed, pull the covers over your head and cry like there’s no tomorrow? Have you prayed for a celestial fast forward? Have you asked yourself “what else could possibly go wrong” only to receive an immediate answer? Today is one of those days.
I swore to myself I wouldn’t write ANOTHER one of these woe-is-me-my-life-is-so-hard-pass-the-ativan posts. I am DETERMINED that this not become another bitchy Mommy Blog that whines incessantly,while smugly judging everyone who isn’t as busy/overwhelmed/proverbs 31-ish as myself.
But I write what I know. And Pollyanna I am not.
So tomorrow, or maybe the next day or the one after that, I will craft an eloquent post about the wonders and beauty of marriage and parenthood. Or perhaps, a challenging treatise on the state of the world. Or an exploration of theology vs. spirituality in real life. Or (more likely) a humorous anecdote about the unknown congealed substance that is perpetually decorating my shoulder (I’m actually HOPING it’s just snot).
But today, I’m writing this blog to avoid that crawl back into bed. Because it’s a hard day, and I can’t give into it. I won’t.
The cursor is blinking as I try to decide which direction to take this next paragraph. Shall I list all the many things that have gone wrong today? I can organize it into: ways I have let people down, ways people have let me down, and ways that life just doesn’t work out and there’s not even anyone to blame.
I feel like I’ve written that before (over and over and over again). I’ve certainly read it. And it’s boring, every time. And it doesn’t make anything better.
So instead, I will simply enjoy this moment. Because even on a hard day, writing is something I enjoy; something that cannot be undone or cancelled or infected by sticky-school-kid-viruses or burnt (stupid crock pot).
Most likely you are feeling worse, having read all this. But I’m feeling better. So thanks.
Today is a hard day. And I can’t muster up philosophical. And I’m not ready to joke about it. And I’m not rising up on wings like eagles. But I didn’t crawl back in to bed (yet). And that’s something.
So here’s me, if I can make it to 9 pm then I win! Tomorrow is a new day.