WordPress keeps track of all the terms people type into their search engine which lead them to this blog. Apparently some of my readers have found me in very UNconventional ways. Here are a few of the weirdest, silliest and most perplexing:

impact of the thermos in society

What is most amazing to me, is that this term has been used not once, not twice, but three times. Clearly, it is a hot research topic. Who knew? (Insert comment about people who have WAY too much time on their hands)

raccoon writing, raccoon from the back, raccoon story and rascal raccoon

You mention ONE raccoon ONCE and it follows you the rest of your life!

stripper punctuation matters

Of course it does. There’s nothing worse than a grammatically incorrect pole dance. Total turn off.

boy enjoying on bicycle

I’m not sure what he’s enjoying on bicycle or why. And I don’t want to know.

tax free smarties

Let us overthrow the burdensome taxation of these, our most delicious of treats. How long must we struggle under the heavy yoke of governmental greed? Smartie Eaters of the world Unite!

tattooed garbageman yonkers

What the what?

airplane vomit clean up

Sadly, this one makes sense to me.

good morning. there’s a shit in the hallway

Also this one, if you can believe it. My life is incredibly glamorous.

married swingers nudists

Ummm… this is a recurring theme when it comes to search terms. I may have written one short post about swingers and another about nudists, but it’s really not that big of a thing for me. Not my thing anyway. I’m pretty sure they’re all disappointed with what they find here. Monogamy anyone?

AND the most frequent Search Engine Term to find my blog: don’t like me quotes

They don’t like me, they really don’t like me!

So here’s me, seeing what amazing blogs I can find by typing in random words.

“cayenne pepper snot dance” brought me to this sinus remedy video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtYTgR-Pmss&feature=player_embedded#!

“scratch car tooth” found an interesting article on fixing car scratches with toothpaste which I may actually have to use. Sorry honey. http://lifehacker.com/5694247/use-toothpaste-to-fix-car-body-and-headlight-scratches

“nose picking blanket vacation” unearthed a list of “The Most Embarrassing Travel Gear” including a blanket to use on the airplane in which only your nose sticks out (not only discouraging chatty seatmates, but for ease of picking access) http://www.independenttraveler.com/blog/?p=522

Tip: don’t use words that are in any stretch of the imagination sexy or phallic (like pickle), unless you have a really great net nanny.